Today is Easter Sunday. First Easter with Max. Not sure if its me still feeling like I need to 'catch-up' from when I was traveling, but I wasnt all that thrilled about this holiday. (in its defense, it is ranked #3, after Christmas and Halloween)
I did get Max an Easter basket, and filled it with goodies. He seemed to enjoy the plastic eggs. I had left them empty because really, what do you put in a plastic egg for a one year old?? Yes, ONE YEAR. Will get to that further on. I did put a few m&m's in one for him to shake around. He loved it!
We met up with Grandma + Ginga at church. They had the full adult choir today at mass. They were loud, and beautiful. As they sang the procession song, I realized today is a BIG day in the religious world. Yes, I always knew it was a big day. As an adult, now with a child, I felt the 'hugeness' of the day. All the flowers on the altar, the flowers wrapped around the cross (the one on a stick the altar boy carries). I am happy I have a faith. I am happy I get to share it with Max.
After church, we went to Grandma's to hang out for a bit before heading out for lunch/dinner. Apparently Max was hungry. Or teething. Or just learning what the coffee table is by touch. (I was told by his teachers Max is a sensory learner, uses the senses to learn.)
I love him.
Today is also my brother's birthday. We celebrated with a visit to the boat shop at Bass Pro. Why not? If for nothing else, the boys - twinkies + Max - enjoyed it. (And its official, Mr. Right is now required to have a boat.)
One year ago today, I was 37 weeks pregnant and was DONE with being pregnant. I was a nervous wreck about becoming a parent. I was CLUELESS of the changes that were coming. One year ago next Sunday, a dream that I had carried with me for as long as I can remember finally came true. When they say, 'be careful what you wish for...', or 'miracles do happen', or 'dreams do come true', they really mean it. They arent telling lies.
My life has changed so much in the last year. Starting with the obvious addition of Max, but also what he has brought to my life. I am a much happier person now. I am a much healthier person (mentally, emotionally and getting there physically). A fellow-blogger friend is on the fence about becoming a single mother. She is in what they call the 'thinking' stage. She has all the same questions and thoughts and feelings I had prior to Max. I just want to go to wherever she is, give her a big hug and say, 'its more than you ever imagined!'. Because at the end of each day, you get to hang out with your kid(s) and be goofballs...
and have help with the laundry...
and know that sitting on a boat you know you can never afford, in a boat shop on a Saturday night is SO much better than being on a date with Mr. SO Wrong.
Today, I also learned the true colors of a few people. And this is what I take away from it (see above about how Max has changed my life), I dont want Max to associate with people like this, nor do I want him to learn their negative behaviors. So to be a good role model for Max, I am choosing to treat these people differently, still with respect, but different. Change. Its not always your enemy, sometimes you are better friends with it than you know.
And that is it ...
Dear Max,
You are now well into your eleven month, and approaching a year here shortly. I have been a bit emotional about this milestone. I cant help be excited for you for all the things that are to come, but I am missing the itty bitty you I met almost one year ago.
I traveled to Budapest Hungary for work, which meant I left you for the very first time for longer than a few hours. It was terribly hard on me. I missed you like crazy. The hardest part of my day while gone was the evenings when it was your bedtime. Fortunately Grandma, Ginga, Uncle Andrew, Aunt Kelly and your cousins Charlie and Tyler helped out greatly. I believe you had a great time with everyone.
You have been becoming more brave with your standing without support. You have been holding your hands in the air while standing.
You have taken some steps without holding my hands. Three steps on April 11th. Four more today (April 16th). How awesome!
You are starting to eat more adult food, feeding yourself. You are being selective of the baby food you want to eat.
When hearing music, you will rock from foot to foot, your version of dancing. Grandma says you and Tyler are the guys in 'The Night at the Roxbury'. (someday I'll tell you about the movie!)
You love older kids. Whenever we go to places - park, McDonalds playlands, play areas at the mall - you observe the older kids before you start playing.
You are the oldest in your classroom at school. You enjoy the Large Motor room tremendously. The teachers have told me that when they open the door to the Large Motor room, and the door to the classroom, you know exactly where to go and crawl at your lightening speed.
You are starting to enjoy books. You are interested in turning the pages and chewing on the ends. Your favorite book is Good Puppy. You are fascinated with each of the puppies.
Lately I've been feeling sad when I put you to bed, as if I didnt get enough time with you during the day. I cant wait for morning to see you standing in your crib, smiling as I walk in to your room and greet you.
I love you Max.
Love, Mom
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Since being home from my trip, I've been consumed with Max. I cant get enough of him. He has changed so much since I had left. He's taking a few steps, he's more communicative and even started saying 'ma-ma'.
I know he is bored with the baby toys in the house and only wants to get into the cabinets. I am holding out until his birthday to give him new age-appropriate toys. And until that comes, we will be frequently seen at the parks near my house and germ pits throughout Chicagoland.
Here's what we've done so far this week.
Monday - McDonalds germ pit (playland)
Tuesday - Sunset Park (Romeoville, near house)
This was Max's first introduction to playlands and parks. He is a very observant little boy. He will stand and watch everything going on before he engages. Today at the park he STARED at the teenagers that were there.
When at McDonalds on Monday, we met a nice little boy who must have been around 4, named Tyler. He wanted to play with Max. Max just followed Tyler all around the playland, so excited, squealing. (i didnt take a picture of max with tyler as i dont feel comfortable publishing pictures of people i dont know kids)
This is my favorite.
Seriously. I need to drop a few 'l-b's'. According to the medical standards, my BMI is in the Obese category. Now, if you see me, I am surely not anywhere near the obese. However, the extra baggage I have in my mid-section does need to go.
After consuming ten days of heavy, rich, flavorful food that was heavenly! (i'll give that to the hungarians, they sure do know how to cook a good meal!), I need to get focused on losing, getting back into shape. (and I promised my OB that I would be at the agreed upon weight at my next visit...which is a few short weeks from now!)
I flipped through a few cookbooks to find some recipes and I came across these two.
1. Not as bad as I thought.
2. SO easy to make.
Yes, you see that right. Brownie, or chocolate ginger spice cake. I am not a big fan of chocolate cake, but this one tastes more like a brownie. Get ready for this ... the ingredients.
Chocolate Ginger Spice Squares - The FOUR Ingredient cookbook, Light
1 package dry gingerbread mix
2 (3.4oz) packages of fat-free chocolate pudding mix (not instant)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup water
*i used regular pudding; the fat-free, low-fat items have too many artifical ingredients for me
Prehead oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients togehter, and pour into 13x9 non-stick pan. Bake for 30 minutes.
Calories per square (2"x2") - 80
Total fat - 2.5g
Sodium - 175mg
Carbs - 14g
Cholesterol - 0mg
As you can see, not too bad. It might be a little dry or chewy for some people, but with strawberries or vanilla frozen yogurt, it fits the bill for having a sweet on the diet.
Great American Potato Salad - Kraft's Make it Simple cookbook
3/4 cup Miracle Whip or Miracle Whip light
1 teaspoon prepared mustard
1/4 teaspoon celery seed
4 cups cubed cooked red potatoes
1/2 cup each - sweet pickle relish and sliced celery
Salt and pepper
*here's where I changed things up a bit. I used traditional plain greek yogurt in my dressing. I did 1/2 cup yogurt, and 1/4 cup regular miracle whip (again, fat-free, low-fat have too many artifical ingredients). I increased the mustard to 1 tablespoon. I omitted the celery seed and relish as I did not have any in the house. In my sample tasting, it fits the bill for the ultimate summer side dish.
I dont have the numbers on this one.
Do you have any favorite recipes that fall into the 'healthy' eating category?
What to do on a balmy Sunday afternoon? Laundry? Or take a stroll? Hmmm....
Laundry got trumped. We went for a stroll along the Riverwalk in downtown Naperville. A little bit windy, but fresh air felt good on someone's feet. And on Mommy's face!
I'm home now. Been home for close to 36 hours. I love it. I love being with Max. I love getting to experience our nighttime routine. I love getting to feed him, to hug him, to hold him (even in the urgent care as soon as I got home). I missed him more than I knew.
When I was in Budapest, I felt empty inside. I felt like I was putting in half the effort I should have (though I still gave 110% as always to my job). However, I knew being there wasnt where I was suppose to be.
Before Max was born, I spent about three years traveling the world for work. I loved it. LOVED. I would get so excited to get to the airport, get on the plane, and head off to another country, other side of the world, on the other side of the equator! I loved setting off on foot to see the sights of the new places. I loved getting to experience new foods and cultures. I loved meeting new people. Coming home some times was a drag for me.
This time, this trip, was the complete opposite. I had no desire to see the city of Budapest. I had no desire to go shopping. I had no desire to socialize with any one from the office (though I did get to see a co-worker who just had a beautiful baby girl, so happy for her!). My heart wanted to be home with Max. When I was walking around Budapest last Saturday, enjoying the sites as much as I could, I realized this isnt who I am anymore. I am not the world traveler. I am not the sightseer. I am not the social butterfly.
I am a mom to a beautiful little boy. I am Mom to Max.
The Travel chapter of my life is over. And I am not at all sad about it because the Mom chapter is way more exciting and rewarding than any travel could ever be.
image from flickr
this is how i feel right now. done. finished. cooked. have had so much sucked out of me over the last 48 hours where i see things in such a different light. the loyalty i once had is now gone.
its time i go home, get back in to my routine with my son, and figure out our next steps forward.
I had thoughts of how Max would be when I was here in Budapest. I actually didnt know how it would go over. Well, apparently its going over just fine. Its almost as if I dont exist...
Looks as if he his having a GRAND time! That makes me feel good.
ps - poor Tyler, having a heck of a time with his molars...seeing he needs to stuff his entire fist in his mouth! (which by the way is a TOTAL Andrew move...facial expression and all!)
So I am trying to make the most of my time here. I got up this morning and set out on foot to see a few things in the city. I enjoy this city, dont feel so out of place, like a tourist (though with my Vera Bradley bag I stick out like a sore thumb!). Here are some shots so far from my visit.
