Sometimes I wonder if God just gets a good chuckle out of throwing us for a loop.  If He finds pleasure in handing out complete crap to good people.  I dont know and that'll be one of the first things I say to Him when at the gates of Heaven.  I'll bitch at him non-stop for about a day or two, cool down and then he can let me in. 

Things are definitely looking better today, but still not in the clear.  Maybe we will never be.  Maybe the message of 'living in the now' has to take place.  That is definitely a lifestyle change in this house, choosing to live in the now.  Honestly I dont think its a bad thing to take on. 

By living in the now, I think I will get to see more of this. 

via To say the least, the last couple of days have been not-so-great.  My heart is low, my fear is high.  I try to find comfort in what is 'normal' but that no longer exists.  A new normal is on the horizon.  One that I am not sure I like.  One I definitely have no say in.  There isnt anything wrong with Nameless #2, or Max.  Or me.  I am just angry right now as someone I love has been dealt a card that no one ever wants.    I could be angry wtih God.  And I might be, I havent decided yet.  There is bright sunshine in the photo above, behind the black cloud.  I am going to take that, remember that, implant that in my brain that this card is not the end-all of all things.  I wont accept that.

What to do with a banana that has had a couple of bites taken out of it and someone doesnt want it anymore?  Cut off a few pieces, mash up and make muffins!


*Baker's note - I only used the 2/3 banana that was left-over, I did not use the whole 3 mashed bananas.  These have a cupcake like consistency.  They also took about 25 minutes, but after 15 mins I would set the timer at 3 minute intervals until toothpick check was clean.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins
1/2 c vegetable oil
2 eggs
1 c sugar
3 TBsp milk
1 Tsp baking soda
1/2 Tsp vanilla
3 bananas, mashed
2 c flour
1 c chocolate chips (though i always add more!)
nuts, optional

Beat together oil, eggs, sugar and milk with electric mixer. 
Add baking soda, vanilla, bananas and flour. Mix well.
Stir in by hand chocolate chips and nuts.
Fill greased muffin tins (or use paper cups) about 3/4 full. 
Bake @ 350 for 15 minutes.  (see note above)

This is how we celebrate the first day of Spring.  Especially when its 80+ degrees outside, and is completely not normal for Chicago in March. 

We have fudgesicles. 

I havent gained as much as I have at this point in my pregnancy as I did with Max, but I am definitely bigger this time.  (and I have yet to clean the full length mirror that I use!) 

But I can say this, my energy is basically in the negative zone, meaning I have none. Zero. I have enough to get to work, come home take care of Max and I find myself closing my eyes whenever I can. 

I miss it.  I am not one who takes naps during the day/weekend.  I am one who pretty much has energy all day long.  I have even more energy when I eat healthy and exercise (even if its a walk around the neighborhood wtih Max). 

I worry with Nameless #2, I wont have this energy back.  I am not one who lays around and does nothing.  I like to be outside when its nice.  I like to do things on the weekends.  I like to feel like I am living.  And with Nameless #2, I worry that I wont be able to do all the things that I want to do and that I should do with the kids. 

Any of my multiple child moms have any advice?  Does the energy return? 

-Slept in, not intentionally because of the time change, so we didnt make it to church. 
-The Twinkies spent the night at Grandma's; they came over after they got up to help with painting (another major much-needed decorating project). 
-The Three Musketeers (or 3M as I'll call them), hung out and played OUTSIDE as it was so nice outside. 
-Thank you to my brother for hanging a curtain rod for me.  Much Appreciated!