We've finally hit the depths of winter.  Freezing cold, snow, ice, frozen tundra temperatures.  By no means am I annoyed with it, its just, winter. 

I am so thankful my boys appreciate all types of weather.  I sure hope its because I appreciate them myself.  So with that, I make sure we enjoy festivities for each season.  Lately, its been sledding. 

One of the things that bothered me the most about dating Tony was I couldnt be myself around him.  I should say I was myself, but reserved.  Way reserved.  Some days I didnt recognize myself.  I found myself conforming to his negative thinking and criticism, when my true self disagreed.  I was constantly at battle internally with what I wanted to do, believe and say, vs., what to say to not upset Tony. 

Boys and I went Halloween Camping this weekend at our favorite KOA campground.  We always have a great time when we camp, let alone at this campground and with our besties, Dawn and Mason.  This year we added Anna, Jon and Jonathan.

Weekend started out crappy with rain on Friday night, but that ended around 8:30pm, so we pulled out the s'mores and kicked off the weekend right.  It was super cold, for camping, coffee was in an abundance.  Max and I had to leave for a bit for a soccer game (which he scored and played his heart out), but we came back and it was right back into the activities ... the best part ... the trick-or-treating.

I keep going back to this particular campground because its far enough away and its very family friendly.  Next summer we will venture out to others, but for Halloween, we will be back.  I am super blessed we have these friends to have these experiences with.

I picked it up in my twenties.  Put it down for many, many years and in the last eight or so I have been never without a project on the needles.  I am so blessed my boys prefer their mama-made goods.  I am so blessed to have learned this from my mother and youtube.  And I was gifted my grandmothers folder of patterns.  None of which I will make but you know what, its just nice to have the history of my knitting talent. 

I was looking for a pattern last night and came across this beauty.  ... oh the sweater it could make ...

The thing about my parenting style is, is that I am a fun parent.  I make sure the boys get to experience as much as they can where we can.  We camp, we visit museums and take road trips.  We go to the library, explore our backyard.  We appreciate simplicity and the off-beaten path.

This weekend was no different.  We went to a pumpkin farm for the fun.  They had jumping pillows, barrel rides, corn maze and pits, hay bales stacked two stories tall for climbing.  Needless to say the boys had fun!





I've been reflecting a lot lately about how life would have been with Tony, I even found a journal note to myself back in August about how Tony doesnt have any sense of adventure nor has any desire to try new things.  I think I knew the inevitable was coming then.  Thank goodness.

... and that is exactly what just happened.  I just wrote for about 40 minutes or so.  Feelings and more feelings on paper.  Release.  Felt cathartic.  Felt good.

I wrote to these people.  They deserve to hear from me.  He can shut me out of his life all he wants, and think he is protecting them.  He's not.  So I wrote my feelings about them to them so they will know no matter what happened, or what they were told, they know for sure how I feel about them.