On this day, I took my boys on a bike ride.  We explored the Fermilab campus.  The architecture was surprising.  I didnt expect it to be so cool.  The time outside with the boys, in the fresh air with the sun on our faces, this is where my soul feels home.

The last four years have been tough, I wont lie.  There has been good, but more not-so-good.  As I sat in a church pew a few weeks ago, mere inches from someone who could have changed our lives drastically, I cried because it wasnt what I wanted anymore.

Also on this day, I could not bring myself to feel for the grieving.  All the not-so-good times were flooding my memory.  All the times I couldnt speak up for fear of the wrath.  All the times my boys were scrutinized.  Just flooding me.  My heart raced.  I fought tears while riding, so my boys wouldnt see my mixed emotions of sadness and relief.

There has been a weight lifted.  I feel lighter.  My heart can breathe.  Sadly, though.

This was the last time we did something together as a group.  We met in Chinatown and water taxi'd to Michigan Avenue.



It was a rough day.  Some people aren't made to be adventurous.  They want to be, but just weren't made that way.  Credit is given for trying though.  I know the boys and I had fun.  We were in our element of exploring.  I wish I could say the same for the others that joined us, however some of the comments from the Peanut Gallery were too hard to ignore or brush off.