*taken tonight, 30 Sep 2010

I am feeling very inspired today.  Not sure if its the Fall season, the fact that my sister Sharon painted the trim in the Powder Room for me (a project that was just waiting for me to get started) or that the new found energy is really starting to resonate itself in the creative section of my brain. 

Whatever the reason, this inspiration and motivation can overstay its welcome.  

I realized the other day that I dont say 'I Love You' to Max that often.  Its not like I didnt hear it when I was growing up, or even now.  I dont want this little boy to ever think twice about my love for him.  So now I am in overload ... he's probably thinking, 'Enough already! I get it!'. 

Have you told your loved ones you love them today? 

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Love You digital graphic from Ali Edwards. 

Today Max, nephews Charlie and Tyler all were baptized into the Catholic church.  At first, I was doing this out of obligation to my faith.  But as I sat in church today, listening to the deacon read the scriptures for baptism and talk about the rite of baptism, I felt excitement for the three boys.  I have never felt this way before about my faith so it was interesting to know there is a strong connection I have to the Catholic church. 

For many years, I questioned my faith and it basically hung on by a string.  Today, it was renewed when my son became an active member of the Catholic church. 

 

photo credit  

I have a thing for coffee and tea cups.  Something about them makes me feel all warm inside.  Not sure if its the stories that go along with sitting down for a cup of coffee or tea, or if its just the ritual of having a cup of coffee or tea that brings a sense of calm to me.  (and it could seriously be the chamomile tea too!)

I found these puppies on Etsy.  Unfortunately, they sold before I could say I definitely wanted them.  So I will hold out until someone else in the world lists their blue japanese stacking mugs (c'mon people in japan! someone has to be clearing out their house somewhere on that island!). 

I also love when I go to the Goodwill with Mom, to browse the housewares section for the fine china that is donated.  I have a whole shelf of tea cups in various patterns just waiting to be used.  I love looking at them, wondering what their story is on how they got to Goodwill, and how much will they enjoy my favorite flavor of coffee or tea. 

So if you ever wondered what sparks my interest when thrifting, or one of the little things that make me geniunely happy, coffee/tea cups. 

 
*our first meeting

A text message sent to my sister Sharon earlier this week:

Do you ever have days where you look in the mirror and say, 'aaannnd...you are?'

In case you havent noticed, I've had the mother of all life changes happen to me this year.  Not only did I give birth to another human being, I became responsible for this human and that includes molding him into a responsible human being.  Then add in I am a working mother.  Full-time working mother.  Talk about change.  Its just been in the last couple of weeks have I come out of the fog.  Sure, the baby fog cleared and then work started up.  Now that the work fog is clearing, I am looking at myself in the mirror each day and I see me, but its not the me I have known for 38+ years. 

The things that I have noticed the most?  I have this sense of calmness about me.  I have a happiness I never experienced before.  I have a renewed energy for life.  I'd imagine these items wont be so foreign forever and they will just become who I am.  I look forward to that day.  But I am also enjoying this process of getting to know this person I am now. 

For example, I used to get so terribly upset over the way people would behave at work.  Today, I felt part of me slip into that old person but caught myself, and turned it around.  I let the conflict go and told myself it'll be what it will be.  And I am actually okay with that. 

Another example, I used to think that if I had what other people had, I would find the happiness I wanted.  So not true.  I need to trust my feelings and instincts.  If I like a certain sweater or item of clothing that is not runway ready, then sobeit.  As long as I feel good wearing it and it flatters my complicated body type, all is good in the world. 

Thankfully Sharon plays the role of big sister so naturally and has such a compassion for it.  She responded to my text, reassuring me that motherhood is changing me for the better.  What an awesome validation.  Thank you big sister! Thank you!

(this is from weekend #4 and #5 ... received my new camera late last week.  Very excited about it, but its so different than my last one.)

 

 

 

 

One of my favorite holidays is coming up ... can you guess?

I've been under the weather - my guess, a touch of food poisoning from left-overs - which is why we are missing some most important updates here.  For example, the weekend in pictures post.  And maybe a post on the fact that Max has completely skipped the clothing size 3 to 6 months, and is comfortably wearing size 6 months.  I'll be back to regular posting soon.  Hope everyone is doing well, staying happy and healthy!

 

I said I wasnt going to 'remember' this day, September 11th.  It was a horrible day in US history, a horrible day for thousands of families.  My heart sank that day and it some essence has never really returned to its normal state. 

I'll never forget this day.  I was working downtown, and heard as I was walking to the office, out on the streets of Chicago that the Worlds Trade Center was attacked. 

I arrived in the office, and it was a ghost town as everyone was upstairs in the cafeteria watching the news on the 13" tv stuffed in the corner.  And it was silent.  This is where I started feeling my heart sink. 

The company said that we could leave if we felt we needed to.  My boss and I got on the next train out of town.  Walking through the train station, seeing all the conductors 'pushing' people to their trains so they can get the trains out of the station, and the fear on all the faces, my heart hit my stomach. 

This is when I started to cry.  What was happening to my country? Is this a world war and will I have to hoard toilet paper? 

Today, looking at this picture with fondness that was taken on a trip to NYC with my step-mother in 1986, I remember being on the top of the Empire State Building looking at those buildings thinking 'Geez those are big!'.  Now today, I look at this picture with even more fondness.  This picture has meaning to me now.  This picture is normally on my fridge, right in the middle, so I remember each and every life lost that day and how the world changed that day. 

God Bless, America.

(Thank you to Chookooloonks for her 'i love' series that she posts regularly to her blog.  I've been inspired to share the same.)

 
photo credit here.

This is Block Island, Rhode Island.  I recall standing at the top of these steps as a kid thinking, 'Oh lets go!' and clearly hearing my father's wife say, 'Oh no, lets not go!'.  As adult, I know why she said so ... All. Those. Stairs.  

I love the beach.  Always have.  Always will.

It was a couple weeks after Max's birth, when I was speaking with my brother, explaining to him how I was feeling about all the changes of motherhood and Max.  He offered his advice in these words, 'Just be in the moment.  Dont worry about tomorrow or ten years from now.' 

Wow.  I had no clue how to do what he had told me.  And truth be told, I couldnt help but say to myself, how ridiculous of an idea.  I hate to say that I am wrong, as everyone does.  But in this case, I owe it to Andrew.  I was wrong.  BOY was I wrong! 

Max forces me to be in the moment.  He forces me to stop and smell the roses and to enjoy him for what he is at that moment.  I was packing away some of the newborn clothes, knowing he'll never wear them again and I was feeling sad.  For the first few weeks of his life, I was a mess, he was getting used to being alive and we were both getting used to each other.  I look back on that time and I am so thankful I took pictures, because its all a blur. 

A friend gave me this book, as a gift, I Was a Really Good Mom before I had Kids.  The last chapter was about living in the now.  Here are their seven simlpe ways to enjoy the here and now:

1.  Living in the moment means adjusting some of your expectations.
2. Dont fight the stage you are in.  If its a challenging phase, know that it will pass quickly.  If its a blissful phase, cherish it, because it will also pass quickly. 
3.  Every moment is a valuable moment no matter how seemingly mundane.  Some moms use folding laundry as their time for meditation.  Maybe there's a task you dont love that you can turn into something meaningful.
4.  Look at things through your child's eyes and the world will change.  The simple things that inspire them can stop us in our tracks and inspire us too.
5.  Just be.  Right now.  We focus on doing so much of the time that we forget to acknowledge our blessings. 
6.  Remember what feels so important now, will later feel inconsequential.
7.  The simple, basic rules are what will be imprinted on your children forever.  Rather than the great big flashy fifth birthday parties, what they'll carry with them are the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you two shared every day after school. 

I am working on #5 currently.  Not doing so much, eliminating the unnecessary errands, finding more efficient ways to get the jobs done (for example, used Peapod for groceries this past week.  Found that the time I would have spent in the store, I was down on the floor with Max encouraging him when he was working on rolling over.  I will cherish that forever). 

In this moment, I am feeling very grateful.  I am gearing up for the short but super busy work week.  And I am hungry. 

(Max and I went to St. Joe's Michigan with our friend Rich this weekend.  We stayed at his family's cottage about 1/4 mile from the shore.  Its absolutely gorgeous in this area.  Too bad its saturated with Chicagoans, doesnt make the 'getaway' seem so 'get away'! Though we had a great time!)

 

 

 

 

 

I have started incorporating cloth diapers into the mix for Max.  This was originally driven by the fact that he has won the title of, Super Soaker, after a three night run of soaking the bed.  I had to remove sheet and pad because they were soaked.  I also had to wipe down the mattress with a wet cloth to make sure there wasnt any Soaker residue. 

My mother had said my brother was like this and she would double up his cloth diapers when it was time for bed.  Not one to shy away from advice from an experienced diaper-er, I took to the internet (thank you Rebekah) with information from my cousin who is using cloth. 

I found that cloth diapering is not the same as what our mothers used to do.  Nor is it as difficult as I had originally thought.  As seen above in the picture, Max is wearing an All-in-One cloth diaper.  Looks just like a disposable.  And the nice super soft poly lining doesnt allow the you know what to stick which makes for easy cleaning. 

I've done enough research on this topic to literally make myself dizzy from all the 'this is better for the environment'.  If I dont have the trash from the disposables, I am using more water in the three additional loads of laundry per week.  And on the flip, if I conserve water, I am adding to the landfills.  There is no win to this.  So in the end its a personal choice. (And I guess, its a wash, literally.  For the 20 or so disposables I dont use/throw out, I use enough water for an extra load of laundry.)

I like the fact that I can have both.  I like having Max use the cloth when we are at home and for sleeping.  I like having the disposables for when we are out and about.  Max isnt complaining and so far the extra work needed to have clean diapers hasnt gotten in the way of other duties or quality time with Max.  What exactly does all this mean really?  I like them.  I like the fact that they are soft and comfy on Max's body, so the cloth will be sticking around.