Have a few thoughts from the weekend.  Some of them I am certainly learning from, others I'd just like to process and move on and a few that I want to remember.

Learning experiences -
-listen to my head, not my heart when i am upset.  makes life much easier when i am logical about things.
-just say what is on my mind when it is on my mind. dont like the feeling of a missed opportunity.
-the laundry WILL get done.

Moving on -
-meltdown at funeral service for a woman I knew.  not a fan of funerals, dont like saying 'good-bye'.
-unecessary conflicts (see point #1 above).
-excess clutter in my house.

Remember -
-tyler enjoying playing in Uncle Geno's truck.
-tyler telling me to put max in the driver seat, and  he'll put his seatbelt on in the passenger seat. (it was as if they were teenagers,  heading out for the night, SO cute!).
-max wanting to help me weed the flower beds.
-sharon, erika, nicholas, zachary, max and i hiking the Blackwell Forest Preserve.

How was your weekend?

Its Friday again, linking up with Life Rearranged..  Here are some shots from the week. 

Top - weird weather + a Soltys.
Middle - lil rocker rocked himself out + barefeet only please.
Bottom - a pick-me-up + playing outside.

I had to hold off on this post until all affected parties received their gift.  I couldnt blow the top on this awesome gift!

I wanted to do something other than gift cards this year for Father's Day.  I hit Martha's site for ideas, as always.  And as always, she delivered. 

Nuts & Bolts Spicy Snack Mix, delivered in a cute + simple container. 

I made two versions of this recipe and design.  One for my dad, the Nuts & Bolts mix, as he is a guy who tinkers in the shop, makes some awesome wood cars for Max.  The other for my step-father, the Master Bass mix, as he is a guy who has a passion for fishing that runs pretty deep. 

For Dad, I followed Martha's recipe.  For Al, I modified this recipe to exclude the spicy and incorporated sweet.  (I made white chocolate pareils, mixed them with the corn chex and peanuts, no baking of course!)

(i only have pictures of the nuts + bolts, slipped my mind to take pictures of the master bass...duh)

I am pleased with the final product.  I even heard from the recipients they are really enjoying their treat. 

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For the Nuts + Bolts sticker - Martha's clipart. Print on a full page sticker/label and cut.  Apply to top of lid.

For the Master Bass sticker - free download template.  Again, print on full page sticker/label and cut.  Apply to front of container.  (there are two versions, just plain black and white and a color,  you only have to print the one you desire.)

Linking up with Life Rearranged for Insta-Friday.  Pictures from the week.

*celebrated Mom/Grandma's birthday. 

*took a walk before the rain.

*at the park watching Zachary on the swings.

Max had his first-ever hair cut today.  He was a bit skeptical at first, was a GEM during the whole 10 minutes it took for her to cut his hair and then smiled ear to ear when she was done.  He looks so different to me now.   What do you think?

Ta-Da!

Here it is, the most recent picture of the grandkids of my family.  Eight of them. 

Sara (19), Megan (17), Nicholas (15), Erika (12), Zachary (9), Charlie (2), Tyler (2), Max (1)

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And the outtakes:
 

Today, Sharon, Erika, Max and I went for a hike at the Danada Forest Preserve. It was a gorgeous day for a hike.  I am so glad Sharon and Erika were game for a day out in the sun, in nature and enjoying each other's company. 

The path runs through the Equestrian Center on the grounds.  Erika rides horses, and has been for a while, so she wanted to stop and take a gander at the stable.  The place is beautiful.  

I'm very lucky I was able to spend a beautiful Sunday with my favorite people.  This is definitely the quality time that I have been missing lately.  My heart was warm when we left.  Thank you Sharon and Erika for spending a good day with Max and I.  We loved it!  We love you!  

Trying a new thing.  Found a blog today where the author summarizes her week through cell phone photos using the Insta-gram app for the iPhone.  She is having what they call a 'link party' where people link to her blog, following her lead on the blog topic. 

Though I dont have an iPhone, any cell phone photos are acceptable.  So here I am, joining my first-ever link party @ Life Rearranged.

(since i started this late, i only have one photo from the week, but this photo basically summarizes the whole week)

Today was not a good day.  I left work in a ball of anxiety.  My blood pressure was up.  I could feel my heart racing as I drove home.  I do not like this feeling nor is it doing any good for my health.

A couple of weeks ago, it was very busy at work, and I logged a good 50 - 55 hours in one week.  That is 10 to 15 hours into my personal life and my time with Max.  When I mentioned this to my manager, clearly stating that my family comes first, I witnessed a level of self-centeredness I've never seen before.  I could dissect the entire conversation here but 1) its not worth the energy to re-live that, 2) I dont have the energy to re-live that and 3) it is so appalling how the situation was handled, I am embarrassed to say I work under this management.

And the long work hours have not stopped.  Two weeks ago, I wanted to take a Friday afternoon off for a little Melissa time.  I was looking forward to stopping at Home Depot, collect a few things head home for an afternoon of landscaping and then collecting Max at the end of the day.  That got blown so far out of the water by 10:30am, it reduced to me tears (at work no less!).  I was SO angry that I couldnt take a day off, and colleagues were without blinking an eye. 

This afternoon, when I stopped at my mother's house to pick-up Max, hang out for a bit with my sister and her kids, I had no energy to do so.  Max turned into a whiny brat.  Refer to the first paragraph of this post, and I couldnt stand it.  We came home earlier than we had expected, but in our usual routine.  And this is the part that is causing the knot in my stomach to tighten to a point of vomiting.  I basically ignored Max while I made a crap-ass dinner. 

I wont ever get that hour, hour and a half back.  I screwed up that quality time.  I know its not going to have a permanent impact on his life nor will he even remember.  But I will.  I will know that my job had taken so much out of me that I couldnt stop what I was doing or even put it on hold so that I could spend time with my son. 

I rocked Max to sleep tonight and felt as what I did has damaged our relationship (yes, i know i sound ridiculous), that he doesnt like me anymore.  I will lose sleep tonight, go to work tomorrow faking it until I make it, and will do my damnest to leave work at work.  I will come home tomorrow and hope that I can make better choices. 

NO job is more important than quality time with Max.  Or any other family member. 

TODAY I WANT TO REMEMBER:
    -us hanging out on my bed
    -you love being on my bed
    -you squealing with delight
    -you looking at yourself in the dresser mirror. 

Friend Sarah and her children were so kind and have shared their sandbox with Max.  (seriously, very nice of Sarah to offer this to us!)  I finally made it to Home Depot to get sand for it on Sunday.  Needless to say, Max put up a big stink when I said it was time to go inside, after playing on Monday evening. 

Sarah, Carter and Addison, Thank you!  Max LOVES it!

Getting closer to being 'okay' with the grass.

We made it!

I havent take a foot shot lately.  And lately, I cant get enough of these fat things!