*Grandma gave you the giant blue elephant, the day you were told you had a yellow-tint to you.  We love Mr. Blue Elephant.

Dear Max,

Today, Sunday May 30th, marks the 4th Sunday you've been in this world.  You are starting your fourth week of life.  The last three weeks has been a whirlwind of emotions for me and I am sure, you.  I believe we are getting there, into that groove of you and I, the team.  Each day I wake, and get to see you, my heart swoons.  I could stare at you all day long, without ever getting bored. 

You snore when you are sleeping, deeply. 

You've been sleeping on your stomach since the day you came home from the hospital.

You can hold your head up pretty steadily, and turn your head from side to side when doing tummy time.

You flex your feet when you are eating.

You raise your hands, as if declaring 'Hallelujiah!' when you are done eating, and getting ready to fall asleep. 

You hold your thumb between your fore and middle fingers when making a fist. 

You periodically make the 'Oh No!' face, and have been doing so since the day you were born ... probably something you did in the womb.

You like your schedule, just like Mom.  Eating every 3 to 4 hours, never deviating from this pattern.

You dont like having your clothes changed.

You really like looking at the black and white Art Cards, given to you by our friend Rich.

You enjoy listening to Mom sing, as tone-deaf as she is!

You enjoy listening to Mom read to you when you are in your 'quiet alert' state.

You hardly cry, only when you are mad or super hungry.  (and you stop immediately when Mom picks you up and soothes you).

These are just some of the fabulous and wonderful things you do.  I pinch myself every day to make sure I am not dreaming you are here and are for real.  You have brought so much happiness to my life, just being you.  I look forward to each day with you, learning new things about you and enjoying the things above.  I love you Max.  

Love, Mom

Usually Memorial Day weekends are spent with friends and families attending barbeque's, hanging out and spending as much time outdoors as possible, as it technically marks the begining of Summer.  Today, we did just that at my brother's house.  Here are a few from our Memorial Day weekend celebration.

We introduced the twinkies and Max.  Charlie wasnt all that interested, though Tyler would point to Max when we asked, 'Where is Baby Max?'.  Max, yeah he wasnt sure what the noise and activity was all about!

Having the twinkies and Max be so close in age, and living in the same area (Chicagoland),  makes my heart swoon with happiness that they will be able to have a relationship with each other.  And this just strengthens the bond between Andrew and I as siblings. 

NPR has a program called This I Believe where people write essays about their life and something that makes them, them.  I dont have an essay, but I do have these thoughts.

This I Believe ... 

Today, Grandpa Ken and Cathy arrived to meet Max.  Plus visit with everyone else.  Dad and I took Max on his first walk in his new stroller.  He seemed to like it as he slept through the entire mile walk.  It is such a beautiful day out, we couldnt have passed up going outside!

*photo by Laura

Its always good to see Dad and Cathy.  I will add the group photo above to Max's baby book .. and this one... just because he is too stinking cute!

I love him. 

Taken today, a new move from Max. 

He had his two week check-up with the doctor today.  He's surpassed his birthweight by a half pound and has grown an inch.  We go back again in two weeks.  Hopefully by then, he'll be eating more and sleeping longer during the night.  But I am not putting any money on it.  I'll just wait and see what he decides to do.  Right now, I am still getting used to it being me and him, and I really like it.  

This morning, Max spent maybe all of ten minutes on the floor mat.  He tuckered out quickly from all the activity!  You can see he is trying to focus, the cross eyes!

Its a weird feeling to know that I am genetically linked to Max, yet I really dont know him yet.  Each day I learn more and more about him, but no one ever said that the first few weeks of motherhood would be 'getting to know your baby'.  I suppose I've read about it and heard about it, but it never sank in that it would really be happening.  Maybe I had expectations that I would know him, and that he would know me.  Maybe not.  But as each day goes by, I am more smitten by him than the day before.  I had a fleeting thought the other morning about 'going back to the way it was' ... and I immediately said I wouldnt trade Max for a single thing in this world.  He is here with me for rest of my life.  And that makes my heart swoon with happiness. 

My step-father has said on a couple of occasions now, that I got what I always wanted.  I am a mother, I have a child, the dream has come true.  Can you believe it?  I am still pinching myself.  And I am pretty damn proud of myself for grabbing this dream by the horns and doing what I had to do to make it come true.  That would be my advice to anyone, to Max, to all my nieces and nephews, if you want something so badly, and you know it in your heart, do whatever it takes to get it.  You wont regret it. 

Yesterday, Max and I took our first walk together.  It wasnt a long one, in fact I think it lasted all of ten minutes.  Today, we are going to try again.  We hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

I got this idea from Ali Edwards after the birth of her daughter.  I really liked this.  I thought to do the same over the past weekend, while enjoying Mother's Day. 

*the above picture of me, taken in 1971 and the below picture of Max, taken in 2010* 

Right now, Max and I are doing a lot of this.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  Up until last Sunday, Mother's Day always meant celebrating my mother.  We'd get flowers, plant, hang out, etc., just us.  I had NO idea the feelings for my mother to change like they have since I've become a mother.   

From all the parties she had for me, to all the frustrations I've caused her, to all the laughs we have together, she is one AMAZING mom.  And that was just for me.  She has three other children she did the same for.  I am so completely grateful for her to be here with me to share in this journey. 

I sit here on the couch most days, healing and learning, oh so learning, about this little guy.  One day he does one thing, the next something completely different.  He's a bit unpredictable right now, and for me, who really prefers things to be predictable and rountine, its making me a bit wacko.  If he were a talking child, or an adult, I can ask questions as to 'why you did that?' and get an answer.  Now, the only thing I'll get is a sqeek, a grunt or cry.  I guess I'll take that because each time I look at him, I cant believe my eyes.  He's here.  He's actually here in my arms in real life.  I am now a mother. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I know.  And Mom, especially Happy Mother's Day to you.  I love you. 

Here's a video I took in the hospital when my niece Megan came to meet Max.  We've tagged any super fast panning in a video the 'Grandma pan', as when my mother took video of her cruise to the Carribean, she did a lot of this type of panning.  We laughed about it, saying she would get the whole trip in 20 seconds or less! 

Untitled from Melissa Mensavage on Vimeo.

And I am learning every day that the pros definitely know what they are doing and know exactly how I am feeling and when.  My OB has been spot-on on so many things.  I am very grateful for him.  He has helped soothe many of the fears I had about the delivery.  And the pediatrician.  He's been here every morning and taking the time to explain this child to me. 

I am extremely touched by all the calls, emails, comments on my new journey with this little man who has stolen my heart.  I am still in the healing process, so I'll get back to everyone soon. 

I was able to take a few more pictures today.  I am having a hard time finding the 'perfect' picture.  But really, when he is in the picture, arent they all perfect?? 

*he is sharing his dislike for me changing his shirt!  

Typing one handed because dont want to put Max down.  Here are a couple more from today.  Maybe tomorrow there will be more pictures! 

Maxwell Andrew "Max" Mensavage
May 2nd, 2010, 10:06a
7lbs, 15oz, 19 inches

We are doing great.  Mom (that's me!!!) is SO proud.