*our first meeting

A text message sent to my sister Sharon earlier this week:

Do you ever have days where you look in the mirror and say, 'aaannnd...you are?'

In case you havent noticed, I've had the mother of all life changes happen to me this year.  Not only did I give birth to another human being, I became responsible for this human and that includes molding him into a responsible human being.  Then add in I am a working mother.  Full-time working mother.  Talk about change.  Its just been in the last couple of weeks have I come out of the fog.  Sure, the baby fog cleared and then work started up.  Now that the work fog is clearing, I am looking at myself in the mirror each day and I see me, but its not the me I have known for 38+ years. 

The things that I have noticed the most?  I have this sense of calmness about me.  I have a happiness I never experienced before.  I have a renewed energy for life.  I'd imagine these items wont be so foreign forever and they will just become who I am.  I look forward to that day.  But I am also enjoying this process of getting to know this person I am now. 

For example, I used to get so terribly upset over the way people would behave at work.  Today, I felt part of me slip into that old person but caught myself, and turned it around.  I let the conflict go and told myself it'll be what it will be.  And I am actually okay with that. 

Another example, I used to think that if I had what other people had, I would find the happiness I wanted.  So not true.  I need to trust my feelings and instincts.  If I like a certain sweater or item of clothing that is not runway ready, then sobeit.  As long as I feel good wearing it and it flatters my complicated body type, all is good in the world. 

Thankfully Sharon plays the role of big sister so naturally and has such a compassion for it.  She responded to my text, reassuring me that motherhood is changing me for the better.  What an awesome validation.  Thank you big sister! Thank you!