mom's weekend.

By whattheharry - 11:29 AM

One of the things that bothered me the most about dating Tony was I couldnt be myself around him.  I should say I was myself, but reserved.  Way reserved.  Some days I didnt recognize myself.  I found myself conforming to his negative thinking and criticism, when my true self disagreed.  I was constantly at battle internally with what I wanted to do, believe and say, vs., what to say to not upset Tony. 


One of my biggest internal battles was vacations.  He could talk the talk about wanting to travel and see the world.  Yet, when it came time to make those plans, he couldnt commit.  He especially couldnt commit when it was something he's never done before, or some place he's never been.  The gypsy-adventuring part of my soul was starved and dying slowly dating him.  

Three days after we broke up, I booked a flight to Houston.  I didnt care what time of day my flights were, I didnt care if I was sitting in the 'toilet' seat on the plane (the last row) and I surely didnt have a problem making arrangements for the boys to spend the weekend with Grandma.  

It was the most magical weekend I've had in a very long time.  No Tony stress.  No parenting stress.  I shopped at places I cant go to because of the boys, and its not in my budget.  I brunched like adults do.  I didnt yell for three days straight.  I laughed.  I enjoyed my best friends company.  I slept all alone, no foot in my back or arms in my face.  

I had a fleeting thought at the airport 530am Monday morning.  Pigs would be flying to get Tony to do such a thing.  I hope someday he gets the courage to break through his fear of the unknown.  I hope he finds someone who can help him with that because it will be a war.  But want to know the best part?  Not anything I need to worry about.  All I think about these days is how I can enrich my and my boys lives with our adventures and experiences.  Does that mean get on a plane and go somewhere?  Get in the car and road trip?  Explore our own city?  Sign us up!  

My three days in Houston were just the medicine my soul needed.  I feel like myself again.  Not the best pictures of me, but that's okay.  We went to the Texas Renaissance Fair, we brunched with fancy mimosas, we shopped, we snuggled with Seamus, Leo and Olly.  #bestdogsever  I took like three pictures the whole trip.  #andthatsokaytoo 





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