Happiness.

Saturday, with it being typical Chicago summer, hot and sticky, I was pretty much inside all day, except for an hour in the late afternoon did I sit outside.  This hour was spent sitting in my backyard, reading the 2nd book of my summer reading list (sad, its early August and I've only made it to my 2nd book!).  While I was reading the book, I felt contentment and happiness.  I thoroughly enjoy just hanging out, keeping it low key.  Add a few family members or friends in the back yard with me, some food on the grill, chips and salsa, and it would have been the icing on the my cake. 

Sadness.

Last night as I was driving home from having dinner with friends, I started to feel sadness.  It wasnt from spending time with friends.  I know the root cause of this sadness.  I wonder if I google'd some horoscope nonsense or Chinese astrology/year of the whatever animal, it would state that its the year for rebirth in many lives.  It must be the year of rebirth for my family.  I have a brother-in-law being deployed at the of August, to Kuwait.  I have a sister who has made some life choices that is impacting all of us.  Not to say our life was peachy, but it worked.  There is/was always room for improvement.  Most of us have taken advantage of the opportunity to make the improvements, some of us havent.  Those who havent, makes me sad.  Why wouldnt they want to improve themselves? Become the best person they can be? 

I believe God doesnt give you what you cant handle.  However, I want to sit down with Him and have a serious conversation about what is acceptable and what isnt.  Jeez.