boys

Mom to Two.

By whattheharry - 1:58 PM


I am crippled with guilt on most days because I don’t feel like I spend enough time with the boys.  The crippling gets worse when the majority of my time is dealing with Max, and Theo is just an innocent bystander getting whatever is left over. 

I had no idea it was going to be like this, parenting more than one child.  I have absolutely no regrets of having each of the boys, I just wasn’t clued in on this part, the balance.  I am still struggling on how to keep the balance between the two.  I am exhausted from trying. 

I am third of four children, and when I look back I don’t ever recall being short on time or love from my mother.  Though she was busy, working and then tending to four kids somehow she was always there.  Probably because by the time I came around she had the balance working for her. 

I then read this on Soulemama’s blog today:
 Unlike her oldest brother, she doesn't have years of time alone with us. She has one day a week, she has bedtimes, she has moments here and moments there. It is quite different.
How true.  I had two years of just Max and me.  Now its been one whole year with Max, Theo and I and I have to say that Theo is probably the happier baby because he has not only me but this awesome big brother.   He has someone to entertain him with fun stuff such as throwing a ball around the room (when he shouldnt be), jumping on the bed (when he shouldnt be), sharing lollipops (see where I am going with this?), and so on.  Max never had that.  Instead he had a paranoid first time mom. 

So I worry I dont spend enough time with both of them, let alone any time at all with Theo.  However I dont think Theo is minding one bit that 'our' time is small.  He seems to be quite happy hanging out with his brother. 

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